Confession is good for the soul, right? We're all friends here, no? Okay, okay, alright...I'll spill my deep, dark secret if you promise not to judge. Too harshly, anyway.
I still give my two year old a bottle.
There. I typed it and my laptop didn't burst into flames. Now stop pointing and laughing.
I should have prefaced this by telling you that I have a degree in child development. I also taught preschool, spent several years as a parent educator with the Parents As Teachers program, and was the director of a child care center/preschool. So I really should know better.
Neither of my kiddos took a pacifier. Neither of them had a lovey, a blanky or a thumb-sucking habit. My oldest stopped taking a bottle at a year, just like he was "supposed" to.
But this one, my baby...she's it. We're done. One boy, one girl, quit while we're ahead, the whole shebang. And I realize there's a certain level of pathology involved here, some deep-seated desire on my part to keep her a "baby" for as long as possible.
I honestly think my husband worries sometimes that I'll end up on the news, the mother who kept her fifteen year old in diapers and a crib, rocking her to sleep and breastfeeding her. (Hello. I hate changing diapers, so that's obviously not going to happen. *sticks tongue out at Brian.*)
I realize she's not a baby anymore. I know she's fully capable of giving up the bottle. She's developing into a little girl, one with opinions and personality and spunk. And one day soon, I will throw the bottles away.
But for now, twice a day (or more often sometimes, I'll admit), we settle onto the couch together and she nestles into the crook of my arm. She looks into my eyes and strokes my hair. We press pause on the world, the one in which she's growing so quickly it makes my head spin, the one in which eventually she'll slam the door in my face and tell me she hates me. We take a time out, together. For that moment, it's just the two of us, holding each other tight. And you know what? I'm okay with that.
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2 comments:
Wanna know what I think?
What am I saying. Of course you do.
She's gonna get bored with the bottle soon enough. She'll outgrow that just as eventually she'll outgrow removing her own (often times dirty) diaper and climbing on top of the kitchen table.
She'll be into other things that'll keep you running.
She's not at preschool, she's not at daycare, she's not at some place that requires such parameters.
And really? I don't think that for her its about the bottle either. She's not running around the house with it. She's not sitting in her booster chair with it.
I think that just like for you, the draw is focused Mama-time. It's the combination of your arms and your hair and your smell and for the length of time it takes her to down 4 oz (or less), she has you all to herself.
It's one of the only times she stops, too.
Before she enters The World of preschool or Social Interaction on a regular basis, then yeah, she'll have to give it up, but my bet is that by then, she'll want to.
And if not...let me know. I'll send Mark over and he can throw everything away without you knowing and you'll just be forced to deal with the fact that she's now a toddler.
But until that time, snuggle away, m'dear. It is as it should be.
My goal is always to be present with whatever I'm doing.
Sometimes I am and sometimes not. The world moves so fast it's hard to not be thinking about the next thing.
I like how you slow things down and take the time to enjoy the moment. And if it takes a few bottles a day to do that, then why the hell not!
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